The trouble with night shift is that you have a crazy schedule. Now, I've been doing night shift for eight years now. Pretty crazy, huh? I read somewhere that being on the night shift is actually bad for your health. I guess I should have paid attention more attention to it- but I didn't.
So, one of the flip sides of being on night shift is that the "night life" is actually like day time for me. Now, in some circumstances, that would have been ideal. That was so six years ago for me. No longer is it fun to have all the energy to spend on a night out in town, it's working against me.
Take my relationship with Jason for example. Now, before I continue, let me clarify that Jason and I are not in a relationship. I'm just a girl he likes to hang out with on the weekends because I'm available and convenient. What this means is that he likes to look at me, be around me, without any strings attached. Except for the occasional movie tickets, food, I don't ask for anything else. Sometimes, I even offer to pay for those. So- moving on... My weekend off begins on Friday night. Jason works Monday through Friday on normal people schedule. After that, he likes to hang out at a cigar bar, and then maybe hang out with me. Sometimes, we see a movie- he loves to go to the drive-in. Sometimes, he falls asleep on the second movie. Then, we head back to his place. He would turn the tv on, and a few minutes later, he would doze off on the couch. Now, imagine me on the other end of the couch trying to watch tv while he's right there snoring. There are times when I would go to bed and close my eyes until I fell asleep. There were times when I changed back from sleeping clothes to "driving back home" clothes. Then I would wake Jason up and dramatically say, "I'm leaving..." He would wake up tentatively and grab me by my wrist, tell me to drop my overnight bag and change back to my sleeping clothes. On the two occasions that I did that, I did exactly what he said.
So what is the lesson here guys? What does it mean for me? You know to me, it's like making me sleep through the afternoon. That's exactly what it is to me. Unfair huh? But what can I do, I'm a night shift person living in a day shift world. I'm sure someone has a better sob story than me.
Earlier this week, Jason and I talked about going to the movies this weekend. I told him I wanted to do something other than see the movies. I had this grand scheme- well, grand for me anyway. I decided to play dress up one morning, and I realized I have several cute outfits I want to wear. Summer is almost over, and I would hate to miss out on wearing sexy clothes. So, I asked Jason if he wanted to go out somewhere where I can wear these outfits. I am not gonna have this body forever. He said he was up for it. Now, let's talk about tonight. It's another Friday night. I decided not to press Jason on seeing me, and he didn't even mention or say anything. So here I am spending my Friday watching movies on demand. What happened to going out this weekend? I don't know. Well, Jason is doing his usual Friday night at the cigar bar. At two in the morning he sent me a text message, like I'm some booty call. Am I still tired? What am I doing? Watching a movie? Which movie. So I cut to the chase and I said, I guess we'll hang out tomorrow huh? He said, "uhm, I'm doing a couple of things tomorrow... we'll see..." Oh, did I say we talked? I really meant we sent each other text messages. I'm not really worth the call on the phone, huh? So it wasn't even like a booty call. It was like booty text, that's even worse.
Now, here I am, blogging at 4 in the morning. I can't really blame Jason on this, I put myself in this situation. I wanted to be on night shift, so I am. I decided to play tough, so I never confronted Jason about our nonexistent relationship. What is wrong with me? I am pretty, I am single, I have a nice body, I don't have any STDs. I brush my teeth, I take showers everyday. I am fashionable, men ask men out all the time. Even my ex husband still gets turned on whenever he sees me. Yet, why do I choose to be alone on a Friday night simply because Jason has other plans that didn't include me? I am better than this, and I deserve more. I am independent, I pay my own rent, buy my own food, I can even please myself if I wanted to. I don't need Jason. He's 12 years older than me! I shouldn't waste my youth and beauty over a relationship that isn't and never will.
I think I just had my "aha" moment. Good night folks. To all you friends and lovers- alone or together, all my other single ladies out there- keep the faith.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Jason - Not the One
I met Jason one night in May at a local sports bar. Was it destiny or fate? I don't know what to tell you but I'll let you decide.
Me. So, it was a fight night- Pacquiao vs. Mosley. I am not a boxing fan, but I decided to watch the fight because I am a Manny Pacquiao fan. At that time, I was kinda seeing this guy (let's call him DJ). He was supposed to see the fight with me, but had a last-minute family thing to do. No biggie, I decided to see the fight by myself. So I called up a couple of local sports bars and found one that was playing the fight that night. One of the bars was popular- so I decided to go to the other place, hoping there won't be too many people around. I came in early so I wouldn't miss the fight. I settled on a seat at the bar - the one in front of one of their tvs. I was there for the fight, after all.
Jason. Jason is a boxing fan. He came in around 9ish. The bar was starting to fill up at that time. Someone took the bar stool beside me, so there was an empty space between me and the next seat to my left. Jason decided to stand in front of the bar beside me. I didn't even notice him come in. I was desperately trying to be invisible. I was there for the fight, not to be noticed. Jason took notice of me and said hi.
Me. I wasn't hungry, I decided on a mojito while waiting for the fight to begin. I was already chatting up with a man who was sitting beside me. His lady friend just arrived and he asked me if I wanted him to get me something to eat. Sweet gesture, but like I said, I wasn't hungry. Moving on... I heard Jason say "Hi, how are you doing." Tentatively, I said, "Good, how are you doing..."
Jason. Jason ordered a drink. I couldn't remember now what he ordered. There was a drunk older guy named Tim who was trying to get into anybody's pants. Jason and I started to joke about it. He said that Tim noticed I wasn't wearing a ring on my finger. Now, I highly suspected that Tim didn't mention that, drunk as he was, but I laughed about it anyway. Jason asked me if I would let him pay for my next drink. I said, why not.
The fight. Finally, the fight was on. There were a couple of matches before the main event and Jason and I continued to talk. Since I wasn't a boxing fan, I asked a lot of questions about the fight. So, we hit it off that night. Jason and I were having such a great time that we didn't even notice the time. It was 2 am and the bar was closing. We stood up and left. He walked me to my car. He said, "I had a great time with you, I hope we could hang out again some other time, and I'm not talking about just having sex." Wow, that was pretty straight-forward. So, I know that he was half-shitting me, but he said it convincingly. We exchanged numbers and that's how we began.
Me. So, it was a fight night- Pacquiao vs. Mosley. I am not a boxing fan, but I decided to watch the fight because I am a Manny Pacquiao fan. At that time, I was kinda seeing this guy (let's call him DJ). He was supposed to see the fight with me, but had a last-minute family thing to do. No biggie, I decided to see the fight by myself. So I called up a couple of local sports bars and found one that was playing the fight that night. One of the bars was popular- so I decided to go to the other place, hoping there won't be too many people around. I came in early so I wouldn't miss the fight. I settled on a seat at the bar - the one in front of one of their tvs. I was there for the fight, after all.
Jason. Jason is a boxing fan. He came in around 9ish. The bar was starting to fill up at that time. Someone took the bar stool beside me, so there was an empty space between me and the next seat to my left. Jason decided to stand in front of the bar beside me. I didn't even notice him come in. I was desperately trying to be invisible. I was there for the fight, not to be noticed. Jason took notice of me and said hi.
Me. I wasn't hungry, I decided on a mojito while waiting for the fight to begin. I was already chatting up with a man who was sitting beside me. His lady friend just arrived and he asked me if I wanted him to get me something to eat. Sweet gesture, but like I said, I wasn't hungry. Moving on... I heard Jason say "Hi, how are you doing." Tentatively, I said, "Good, how are you doing..."
Jason. Jason ordered a drink. I couldn't remember now what he ordered. There was a drunk older guy named Tim who was trying to get into anybody's pants. Jason and I started to joke about it. He said that Tim noticed I wasn't wearing a ring on my finger. Now, I highly suspected that Tim didn't mention that, drunk as he was, but I laughed about it anyway. Jason asked me if I would let him pay for my next drink. I said, why not.
The fight. Finally, the fight was on. There were a couple of matches before the main event and Jason and I continued to talk. Since I wasn't a boxing fan, I asked a lot of questions about the fight. So, we hit it off that night. Jason and I were having such a great time that we didn't even notice the time. It was 2 am and the bar was closing. We stood up and left. He walked me to my car. He said, "I had a great time with you, I hope we could hang out again some other time, and I'm not talking about just having sex." Wow, that was pretty straight-forward. So, I know that he was half-shitting me, but he said it convincingly. We exchanged numbers and that's how we began.
Hello World!
This is my first ever blog (yay!)... It's something I've always wanted to do but I guess I'm just such a procrastinator that I haven't started until now. So, cheers guys! This is the first step. Hello world, and get ready for some of me :)
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